From Start to Finish

I love following something from start to finish. Whether it be a project at work or knitting a shawl, I love the whole process.

I think that’s partly why I don’t design patterns, because I’m too caught up in following directions someone else has thoughtfully created and seeing the end result.

I am, however, interested in designing yarn.

From receiving the fiber in the mail (what a great mail day!) to selling the finished product, the journey is definitely more fun than the destination.

I hope to have an online store soon. Until then, all the fun is in the details!

Dyeing:

This isn't going to hurt one bit.

 

Spinning:

Adding the twist

 

Plying:

Almost there...

 

Measuring:

Wrapping yarn on the niddy noddy

 

Washing and thwacking:

Thwack!

 

Winding:

All wound up

 

And, finally, knitting:

Suggested name for this colorway?

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What a Difference Three Weeks Make

Just a few weeks ago I wanted to hide under the covers. I didn’t want to go anywhere, do anything, and I just didn’t care.

I didn’t care that I didn’t care.

The only thing that scared me was that I might lose my husband. And I felt that way only when the morbid obsessions crept into my mind. That usually happened at night when I couldn’t sleep.

When I went to see my psychiatrist three weeks ago, she was very concerned and decided that we needed to conquer two things: 1) my lack of sleep, and 2) my “numbness.”

She prescribed two different types of medications. First was Trazodone for sleep. Second was Abilify.

From the first night, I could actually fall and stay asleep. It was amazing.

Since then, I have been transforming. I still don’t go out that much, but I’m hanging out with friends more and making plans for the future.

Mom and me chillin' at The Domain

My mom came up last weekend and we had so much fun together. I am normally very nervous about people coming to visit, but last weekend I felt only excitement. No fear.

And I have energy. Usually all I want to do is sleep on the weekends, but this weekend I’ve knit and spun lots of yarn. Last night I ventured out of my comfort zone to go to a voice recital at UT.

Famous fountain at the University of Texas

And this morning? I was up at 5:30, did several loads of laundry, plied some yarn, practiced piano, and ran errands with Lee.

My outlook is rosy, and my vision is 20/20. I know there may be bumps in the road ahead, but life is good.

I Wish I May, I Wish I Might…

When I worked at The Huntsville Item, I wrote a column every other Sunday for a while. It could be about anything.

One week I decided to write about my agoraphobia. I had gotten a book called The Wish List from a couple friends and it helped me put into perspective what I had accomplished and what goals I wanted to set for the future.

Here are some of the things I have checked off so far:

Flower parade in Bennebroek

  • Design, build, and decorate my dream house (March 2008)
  • Travel to Europe (Amsterdam and London, June/July 2005)
  • Swim with dolphins (April 2002)
  • Fall in love with the right person, at the right time for both of us (Lee, May 2005)
  • Cuddle a tiger cub (November 2000)

I consider these to all be amazing experiences, and I still was dealing with agoraphobia!

My goals for the future weren’t much different then. I wanted to be able to go and do things and not think of how I feel every second of every day.

I still feel that way, but every day that I am on my new medication I feel a little stronger. I’m more creative. I have emotions, and for the most part none of them have been have been panic or anxiety-related.

So now I have some new wishes.

  • To travel wherever I want without fear, but with excitement and wonder.
  • To open a yarn store online with yarn Lee and I have dyed and spun.
  • To live life to the fullest, one day at a time.

Maybe one day these wishes will come true. Until then, I’ll keep looking for falling stars to wish upon.

Wish me luck.

A Year in the Life

I love Flickr.

There are so many creative and wonderful people who share amazing photos. Whether they’re straight out of the camera or edited to look out of this world, I love to look at people’s images.

After all, a picture IS worth a thousand words.

Flickr has many groups and projects to get you out of a photography rut. One of those projects is 365.

365 photos. A photo of yourself, in some form or fashion, every day for a year. I have tried this project twice and failed. Well, maybe not failed. But I stalled. I got lazy. Toward the end of both rounds, I was taking photos of me sitting on the couch. Every. Night. I was boring myself, and probably everyone else in Flickrland.

Blue in mid kiss. And, yes, I am grabbing my boob.

I started the 365 project again yesterday. Yesterday was Blue’s birthday, the first dog that Lee and I adopted from Austin Pets Alive. She was named Priscilla then, and she looked much older even though she was only 6. (OK, that’s 42 in dog years, but 40 is the new 20, right?

We’ve had her a year. In that time she has made me laugh, cry, and fall in love all over again. She’s also gained 8 pounds. 🙂

This time I want to use the photos to tell my story. My ups, my downs, my accomplishments, my failures, everything.

I’m hoping that telling a story will help to inspire me to make it all the way through 365. And I’m looking forward to seeing what my last photo will be. I’m hoping I will have grown emotionally. That I will have been able to take photos outside of my comfort zone.

If you want to see my photos on Flickr, my username is mersidotes.

After all, third time’s a charm. Right?