Nighttime Is Not the Right Time

I hate the night.

I guess I shouldn’t say “hate.” Hate is a very strong word. But I definitely don’t like nighttime. My vision is impaired. Bugs come crawling out of their daytime hidey holes. And for me, it’s too quiet.

That gives my mind plenty of room to play. And by play, I mean play clips of songs in my head over and over. This happens during the day, but I don’t mind it as much because I can focus on other things. For some reason, darkness removes all concentration I have and leaves my mind vulnerable.

Right now, my mind is playing back every song I’ve heard or thought of today. “Wake Up, Little Susie,” the theme to “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine,” “Have a Holly, Jolly Christmas” (Burl Ives and Michael Buble versions), “Silver Bells,” and “White Christmas.” I’m sure there are others in the mix, but these are the most prominent.

When I am preoccupied with a cacophony of songs that I can’t get rid of, I can’t sleep. I think the Trazodone, which is supposed to help OCD and sleeplessness, is not working anymore. It didn’t take long, and I’m thinking that it is because I have so many medications in my body already that my tolerance level is too high for Trazodone to work anymore.

But that doesn’t mean my days are miserable. I went and had my car tuned up and didn’t have a panic attack while I waited. And I finished Lee’s Jayne Hat, complete with pom pom. I had never made a pom pom before. It was fun.

But now it’s night. It’s silent outside, but an eclectic concert inside my head.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Fiona
    Dec 18, 2011 @ 07:23:44

    I do that too with songs, except i do it alot in the mornings aswell as night time when i am trying to gte to sleep, todays song has been phantom of the opera? LOL. and YAY for going and getting your car tubed up, well done 😀 xx

    Reply

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