Hello, Old Friend

Whenever I get depressed, I tend to shut out everyone and everything.

That includes hobbies.

When I took a leave of absence from work, the only hobby I kept up was reading. I didn’t go out unless I had an appointment. I didn’t listen to music because I embraced silence.

And, for the most part, I had lost my love for fiber.

When I learned to knit, I became obsessed with the variety of colors, textures, and patterns. Going into a yarn store gave me sensory overload, and I loved it.

And I found that it was the one thing that could ease my anxiety. To focus on a pattern, to make sure I knit the correct number of knits and purls in a row, to not drop any stitches…

To do all this, I had to divert my mind from the panicky thoughts that made me nauseated and shaky to wrapping the yarn around the needle and pulling it through. Over and over.

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The more I knit, the more I loved to knit.

And then I learned to dye fiber and spin the fiber to create yarn. I even sold some!

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Since I had to concentrate on not putting too much twist into the fiber, I wasn’t letting anxious thoughts affect me.

Both hobbies helped me in ways I couldn’t imagine.

But I lost interest in knitting and spinning the way I lost interest in most things. And, instead, I let negative thoughts and feelings take over.

It’s been a while since I’ve felt so out of touch for so long, but it wasn’t until a few days ago that I picked up the needles again.

And today, I put my feet on the pedals and spun some yarn.

Life is very good.

 

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. ocdtalk
    Nov 11, 2012 @ 20:21:39

    So glad you “picked up the needles again.” You do beautiful work and it sounds as if it’s a great diversion for you. Keep knitting 🙂 !

    Reply

  2. Free
    Nov 12, 2012 @ 03:43:04

    I just took up knitting three days ago! I been watching YouTube videos on knitting and crocheting. I hope that I can do it, ad your work is fantastic. Visiting from NaBloPoMo

    Reply

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