The Physical Toll of Anxiety

This past week has been brutal for me, emotionally and physically.

Emotionally I’ve been sailing on choppy waves. There’s been a reprieve between rocking and rolling, but barely.

What always surprises me, though, is how anxiety can take such a physical toll. Before my trip to see Dad, I couldn’t sleep, I was weepy, and I was constantly grinding my teeth.

Last night, after we got home, I crashed. Because I no longer felt like I had to be on guard, my body just kind of…gave up. I ended up going to bed at 9 p.m. and slept until 9 this morning.

Today, I still feel rundown. I got out of the house to run some errands, but for the most part I was tired, and my body hurt all over. I don’t think I’m coming down with anything. It’s just that I’m not in “fight or flight” mode, like I have been for the past week.

It seems like the more I let myself get worked up over something, the worse I feel afterward.

I hope I can work on reducing anticipatory anxiety so that I can feel energized, rather than exhausted, and be able to enjoy more that life has to offer.

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Shutting Down

The saga continues…

We had a department meeting yesterday and were informed that the department was being dissolved and all the employees would be assigned to other departments.

I still haven’t heard anything. I don’t know where I’m going. I don’t know what I’m doing.

I’m just panicking.

I feel like I should feel fine because I didn’t get laid off. I shouldn’t be anxious because I still have a great job.

But what job is it? And when will I find out?

I know I’m being a negative Nelly, but being anxious wears me out.